Today was a good day. I hosted Thanksgiving dinner at my house, and I actually didn’t burn anything! (Don’t roll your eyes, this is actually an amazing feat)! Dad’s brought his new friend Judy, who just happens to be a Home-Ec teacher at Pasadena High School. She cooked a mouth-watering turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and a glazed ham! And that’s not all! WE cooked a prime rib roast, rolls, pumpkin, chocolate meringue and cherry pie, corns and green beans. Why did we cook so much food? Um…not sure. But there was plenty left over. Steven says that’s why the world hates America…because people like us have 3 meats for dinner. But it was all very delicious and everyone even washed the dishes for me afterwards so I didn’t have too!
Judy brought one of her students. His name was Brian and he was a very nice kid. He’s got a tough home life, but still manages to pull off a 4.0 GPA. He was so sweet to my kids, helped with the dishes, and was totally at ease talking to a bunch of random adults about nothing in particular. I was really glad he came.
Judy is just lovely. She’s sweet and funny and is so good for my dad. He’s been so lonely since Mom’s been gone. Mom once told me that Dad would have to marry again if she died. “He’s too happily a married man to live alone,” She’d say. She always said it matter-of-factly, without sarcasm or joking around. She was right, too. This past year and a half have been hell for Dad. And Judy is so nice and he seems so happy. It’s the first time in months I haven’t worried about him.
But I feel torn too, like I’m jealous for Mom. It seems like the last little thread of her is disappearing. I look around and it’s like she was never even here. And I miss her so much today that my heart feels like its breaking. I’m not ready to take her place and be what she was to our family. I wish she was here. It’s strange…whenever my life is at its happiest and I see how much I have to be grateful for…that’s when I miss her most.
