Friday, June 12, 2009

Hair Trauma

I have extremely thin hair. Seriously. I was bald as an egg until around 3 years old, and before that my mom used to tape bows to my bare head. As I got older, my hair grew somewhat reluctantly into what it is today (I actually only have about 100 hairs on my head that I fluff to their absolute fullest extent every morning with a hairdryer). I fully expect to be one of those little old ladies with translucent hair through which you can see their scalp.

I just had a conversation with Steven about this:

Me: When I get old, and my hair starts to fall out, can I wear a wig without you telling everyone?

Steve: Sure.

Me: Good

Steve: That is, until that fateful day when the wig comically gets stuck on a tree branch, or blown off by the wind in a public place, like say, a church picnic.

Me: Yeah, but by that time, I’ll be a cute little old lady, and it will just be a cute little incident of the crazy, cute little old lady. I figure it won’t happen until I’m around 60-65ish.

Steven: Okay. I’ll pencil it in.
I also happen to have very sparse eyelashes and practically no eyebrows (or rather, I have eyebrows, but they’re so light-colored that it just looks like I have a gargantuan forehead). The upside is that being the hairless beast that I am, I seldom need to shave my legs.

Unfortunately, having such thin hair means that my scalp is COMPLETELY scorched today, seeing as how one seldom thinks to slather sunblock on their hair part at the swimming pool.

3 comments:

Shelley said...

That's hilarious. I can't picture you as a little old lady with a wig. Just make sure it is stuck on tight before you go outside!

Simply Sarah *K* said...

You are the funniest gal, ya know that? I love these little tidbits from you :). I am currently in the process of losing all my hair. I seriously lose like 100 strands a day!! I'm not going to be surprised when I find a baldspot one day! My hairgal says I need to eat more protein :). Okie dokie.

Marby said...

I DO, I DO!! Seriously, my hair is so thin, I at one point in my young life wore a partial wig for a time. I always either wear a hat or put sunblock on my scalp everytime I'm out in the sun. They make a product for the scalp (although it is for BABIES). Anywho, I feel your pain.