I Love Stevie

Yesterday, we were having lunch at a friend’s house. Before eating, we decided to play a quick game of “Candyland” with the kids. Everything was going pretty well until David ended up winning the game.

Tears started to well up in Stevie’s eyes and he pushed his face into his knees. He does this when he knows he’s going to start crying but doesn’t want me to see. I tried to talk to him softly about how it’s just a game and it’s only for fun and sometimes ya win some, sometimes ya lose some, etc.

But he just got more and more upset. His quiet tears turned into sobs. “I NEVER win at Candyland, Mom. I’m just a LOSER! I’m a big LOSER! I never win at anything!”

You can imagine how my heart broke when I heard this. I continued to talk with him and hold him and assure him that he was in NO way a loser of any sort. Finally, he decided that he needed to sit by himself for awhile so that he could calm down.

I know this is probably an everyday experience for a child, but it just got me thinking about my sweet little Stevie. He’s a thinker---a figure-it-out kind of guy. I feel brilliance brimming out of this child. But he also wears all his emotions on his sleeve, takes things very seriously and feels things very deeply. I love it because I know it means he’ll always be motivated to do great things—hunger for beauty and truth--be a “Mover and Shaker.” But I hurt for him because I know he’ll always struggle because of it. It’s the price you pay for having your emotions too much with you. It makes for living in a colorful and beautiful world, but also unbearable at times.

All I can do is watch and wait---hold him tight when he cries and assure him that he is NEVER, EVER a loser. In fact, he’s a pretty extraordinary guy. But I bet being extraordinary isn't always fun.