Feeling Better

It's been an emotional week.

With this pregnancy, I randomly decided to have the Quad Screen done, and ended up testing postive for Down Syndrome. Last Wednesday, after looking at my percentages, my OB-GYN called me personally and suggested that I go down to UTMB for a genetic counseling appointment and a high definition ultrasound.

I was devastated after getting that phone call. Completely emotionally overcome. I've always known that we'll be able to handle anything the Lord throws our way, but this time I wasn't so sure. I spent the next couple of days in tears.

The day of our appointment finally came. The doctor who gave us our genetics counseling was very direct. She wrote down both Steven's and my medical pedigree, in which we found out that each of us have childhood disabilities in our families. She told us that our chances were 1 in 53. This is where my eyes filled with tears. It was a higher number than I'd thought.

Then she showed us the chromosome information about D.S., and explained to us the mental limitations and related health problems. Then she showed us some pictures of the most angelic children I've ever seen, each with down syndrome. My heart was so full when I saw those precious children, and I was filled with fear and love for the baby inside me.

Next was the high definition ultrasound. The technician explained to us that she was looking for certain "slow markers," i.e. a collection of fluid at the nack of the fetal neck, shortness of limbs, etc. She stressed that the ultrasound was NOT completely definitive, but more of an indicator. As we continued the ultrasound, we saw the baby. So wiggly! Couldn't stand still for a second--it was adorable. I couldn't help but laugh.

As I was staring at the screen, not knowing what the heck I was looking at, the technician finally stopped and said to me, "I just want to let you know that so far, all the slow markers have been completely normal." I smiled gratefully. "There's that smile I was looking for!" she said. I started to feel a little better.

After a little while, she said asked us if we wanted to know if it was a boy or girl. DUH!! She told us that if she wasn't sure, then she wouldn't even guess--seeing as how it was only 17 weeks and all. But after looking for about 2 seconds, she typed out on the screen, "I'M A BOY!"

I laughed outloud. And then I started to cry again--it was so wonderful just to be able to say, "That's my Jacob! There he is! I love him!" It made it seem to me that no matter what happens, who cares??? Because that's my Jacob!

After the ultrasound was over, another doctor came in an talked with us. He told us that all the slow markers had looked either normal or better than normal, but that in order to be completely sure we would need to do an amniocentesis. He told us that because we weren't planning on terminating, regardless of the outcome, that we had all the time in the world to decide.

I think we've pretty much decided against it. It doesn't matter anyway--and though it would be nice to know, we feel like it's not worth the risk--for us--right now, at least. It was enough for us to see that beautiful little baby squirm and wiggle around. The doctor is having us come back in 3 weeks for another hi-def ultrasound--just because the baby will be bigger and easier to see.

So, without further ado--here is the little bugger whose been causing all the trouble--and who I absolutely can not wait to meet.

Gradual Return to Normalcy

I finally feel like I’m getting over that hump—you know, the lethargy/queasiness hump that accompanies the first few months of pregnancy—and now I’m ready to rejoin the world. I had my 2nd doctor’s appointment today, which again cemented my respect and genuine liking of Dr. Griffis. She and I talked about my attack, and she eased my mind about the medication I took while in the hospital. And I got to hear the little heartbeat, which always calms and elates me simultaneously.

But as I was saying, I’m ready to get busy again. Time to evict the cockroaches (which granted, would be easier if our house didn’t have giant cracks in the doors) and scour the place. Did you know I actually ENJOY mopping? That’s something I usually like to keep under wraps—but there’s something soothing about swishing that water all over the floor. Weird, I know. If only I could just mop and never do dishes. Or if I could somehow mop the dishes. Anyway, I digress.

Stevie and David haven't had much fun this month, but they've been such troopers. The thing that always humbles me about my sweet kiddos is how they seem to WANT to spend time with me—even lately when I haven’t been the most interesting person in the world. They just like to be in the same room together. And because of their being such good sports over this past month of boredom, I really feel like we need to get out together and DO some things. Beach, zoo, Space Center—I dunno, whatever I can find that doesn’t cost money. And I’m certainly glad it’s getting a bit cooler so that we can go outside without baking to death.

So wish me luck as I once again attempt to rejoin society and become a contributing member of my family. Heck, I might even make dinner tonight....(might).

Jenn & Benn's Wedding

Last week was absolutely insane. I have so many things to blog about---it's going to take THIS entire week in order to catch up on LAST week's antics. So here goes.


Steven’s sister was getting married in the Mesa, Arizona temple, and so we packed up the kiddos and made the 18-hour trek out into the desert heat. (Which, by the way, was surprisingly pleasant. Sure, it was ridiculously hot, but at least you didn’t have that horrible humidity). Steven insisted on leaving at 9 PM on Thursday night and driving straight through—something I swear I will never take part in again.

Jenny’s wedding to Benn was lovely. I always get teary in temple weddings. In fact, I bawled through most of my own. It was really wonderful to see Jenny and Ben get sealed amongst all their family and friends.


Here's the a picture of all the Grundbergs. Of the zillions of pictures taken, this was the only one where everyone actually has their eyes open.
A picture of the present Grundberg sibs. What's with Peter's look of insanity?
It was very hot that afternoon, and none of us had thought to bring water bottles. There happened to be lime trees on the temple grounds, and somehow all the boys managed to pilfer some lime to harvest the juice. Can they take away our temple recommends for that? :)




The Sisters-in-Law with Jenny

I get a bit kooky when I'm dehydrated.
Here's two of my favorite wedding pics of Jenn and Benn:


We found out some really wonderful news on the day of Jenny's wedding as well. My brother and sister-in-law have been trying for a few years to have a baby. Well, out of the blue, Phil just blurts out on the temple steps that JESSICA'S PREGNANT! We were all so thrilled that we cried. And what's more, she's 7 1/2 weeks--so our babies might be born in the same week! Such a happy, happy day

A shot of the two pregnant ladies, taking refuge under the shade of a palm tree.

Laziness and the Peanut

See the little peanut on the right of the black oval? That’s Baby! It’s actually there!
I went to my first doctor’s appointment today. I’d never met this doctor before, so I had a few reservations—all of which were unfounded. Dr. Griffis is wonderful and she really took a lot of time answering my questions and finding out everything she could about me. I really appreciated that. Some doctors just kind of nod at you on the way in and BOOM, they’re examining without so much as a hello. It was nice that she gave me a chance to get to know her before we went down this whole 9-month long road.

The boys have been terribly bored lately—because I have been terribly lethargic. I can’t remember the last time it was so hard to get things done. I could seriously lie in bed All. Day. Long. But I need to get my rear in gear, because otherwise my children will either die of boredom or wind up killing each other. Plus, the house is standing on its ear, and I haven’t even been making the pretense of straightening it up before Steven gets home. He opens the door, and there’s the Slug, lounging in her sty. (mixed metaphors?)

Fortunately, we’re going to Arizona on Thursday for Steven’s sister Jenny’s wedding. We’ll be spending a whole week with Steven’s family, and I can’t wait. Hopefully this will get me out of my sludgery.

P. S.—As I’m writing this, David is in the corner singing “Wooaah—oh! Livin’ on a Prayer!” (Bon Jovi)

P.P.S.—I just finished doing the dishes, so I feel a bit less guilty about my lazy day.

P.P.P.S.--I just realized that the title of this post sounds like some sort of children's fable.

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!

Can you believe it? Just look at the test! (This is the 3rd one I took. Is it weird that I’m posting a picture of something I peed on?)



After 13 long months, we’re finally pregnant! I found out on Thursday. When I took that first test (just a cheap, Walmart-brand one), I was just sure it was going to be negative. I even said out loud, “See, you’re not.” And then, ever so slightly, the plus sign started to show through…and get darker and darker. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I shouted out “Yes!” and smacked my hand hard on the door and then burst into tears (tears of joy---and maybe just one or two of pain).

I’m just so grateful. I was just sure it would never happen. Once again, the Lord is probably shaking his head and chuckling, saying, “Just WAIT already!” All I can say is, Thank You, Lord, thank You! Thank you a million times over. My heart is full of joy.

And do you want to hear the dangedest part? I was pondering the other day on how this has truly been a lesson in patience. And then immediately afterwards I thought, “Man, now we have to wait NINE whole months! Geez!”

I'll never learn. :)

Just Trying to Keep Up

Accurate record, Jenny. That requires you actually writing things once in awhile.

Saturday we went to a really great birthday party (complete with slip-in-slide and oh yes, I did partake). I swear I have more fun at those kids’ birthday parties than my actual kids do. It’s my only chance for adult socialization. You know…where I can talk without using excessive inflection in my voice. It’s nice.

Sunday was Father’s Day. I had been saving my cleaning money for about a month in order to buy “Guitar Hero” for Steven. It was a big hit. I can really see how you could get addicted to that game. It’s so idiotic and yet so fun.


We invited my dad, Adam and Jessica over that night, and Steven cooked up some insanely delicious barbecued ribs. (Thank you, Emmaly, for the recipe!) They were to die for, and I think I might have gained back 10 lbs just smelling their delicious aroma. Steven is an absolutely amazing cook (not to mention the best daddy in the universe).

As for me, well, I guess I just haven’t really wanted to write a lot lately. I’ve been rather over-obsessed with not being able to get pregnant, and I’ve been having kind of a hard week. This is my 12th month of nothing, which gives us the official title of “infertile.” Secondary infertility—I do already have my two beautiful boys --but it’s been pretty heart-breaking, nonetheless. I can’t remember crying like this in a long time. Like I said… a rough week.

If only our insurance paid for ANYTHING having to do with infertility, we could AT LEAST have some diagnostics done. But seeing as how the fertility specialist gave us an estimate of around $5000 out-of-pocket (JUST for the diagnostics, mind you), I just don’t see that happening any time soon.

Oh well. Back to trusting in God and focusing on other things. As if that were possible.