I've been up since about 2:45am, and I need to start getting ready at about 4. The actual delivery is scheduled for 7:15am (c-section), and so we have to be at the hospital by 5am. I am wide awake with excitement/anticipation/fear/nostalgia. I also have killer allergies, which helped to make this early morning a bit earlier than expected.
The boys are sleeping over at Marby's tonight. She called us around 9:30pm--David was exhausted and a little hysterical about not having mom and dad close by. It was heartbreaking to hear his sad, tired little voice on the phone. I wonder how he'll handle his new role as big brother after being the baby for so long. I watched him playing with Marby's littlest one tonight, and he looked so big. Stevie, I think, will take it all in stride and relish his new role as "eldest bro."
I think to myself, "how in the heck am I supposed to do this without Mom here?" I know it will be fine---but it's just not quite right. This was her special time, and OH how she loved babies. And I don't think I lifted a finger the entire time she was there after the boys were born. I had no idea how lucky I was--but I know now. Like I said, I know I'll be able to do it and everything will turn out alright. I just wish she was here.
Well, Jake, I hope you're enjoying these last few hours of being on the inside. I'm feeling awfully overwhelmed at the thought of meeting you at last--I feel like I've waited for you for so long. Be patient with me, kid, and remember that even though I'm sure I'll botch things up many a time, I already love you so much that it almost hurts. See you in a few hours.
2 comments:
I'm sure he enjoyed those last few moments with your mom before he came to you! She got her baby time with him!
I hope today went well...can't wait to see his precious face and hear all about it!
When I read this I thought the same thing Sarah did, about him being in Heaven wit your Mom waiting to come to Earth. I'm glad things went well, he's beautiful and I'm so happy for you!
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